You are trying to figure out how to help.
“I don’t understand why s/he does it.”
“Should I try doing an intervention?”
“I’ve tried everything.”
Asking the right questions is a start.
Here are two questions that might make all the difference in the world:
Have you tried making sobriety more attractive to your loved one than drinking or using drugs?
What have you done to try to make YOUR life better?
Forget about logic.
If your loved one didn’t get anything pleasant or enjoyable from drinking or drug use, s/he wouldn’t do it.
And this is true even when negative consequences accompany drinking or drug use.
Thus, it makes sense to provide pleasant, enjoyable things and experiences when you’re loved one is not drinking or using drugs.
Consider what you’ve sacrificed.
What are the pleasant things and activities you stopped doing for yourself while you’ve been spending more time trying to get your loved one to change?
How much better did you feel about yourself before this horror show started?
If nothing changes, nothing changes.
You can’t control your loved one’s behavior, but you can change your behavior and the way you interact with your loved one.
You can be empowered to influence your loved one’s behavior; you just need to learn a few powerful techniques to do it and be persistent in using them.
And you can be empowered to have more joy and satisfaction in your life regardless of whether your loved one changes their drinking behavior.
You can lose the shame and the loss of empowerment caused by thinking of yourself as “codependent” or as a “co-addict.”
Help starts with empowerment.
Using the right approach can provide positive results for both you and your loved one. I can educate you about more options than most other treatment providers and help you choose the best plan of action for you to take.
It would be my pleasure to discuss your situation and to help you create a plan to make your life better.
Call (908) 393-6300 to schedule your free 20-minute consultation now.